Clean Fighting
BRD REFLECTION 2026
Matthew 18: 15-20 and Psalm 68: 11-18 (NIV)
(Frances Lim from Small Group Ministry)
READ:
Matthew 18: 15-20 (NIV)
OBSERVE:
Jesus was with His disciples in Capernaum, and we are privy to His teaching session. He addressed the problem of how to deal with sin within the body of Christ. We are taught to confront the one who is sinning privately at first, then bring in witnesses if the person will not listen. Finally, if the person still refuses to listen, take the matter to the church. Jesus says that whatever we bind on earth will be bound in heaven. He is giving Christians the authority to prayerfully make decisions on earth that will be validated in heaven.
Verse 20 is familiar, often quoted, and much loved. It assures us, or so we think, that when we pray together in twos or threes, Jesus is with us and the Father in heaven will grant what we ask. While that is true, in this passage it refers to the two or three witnesses required by Jewish law to testify against someone.
APPLY:
Sin within the church is a big problem. Sometimes it seems easier for me to say that I will pray about the issue and trust God to solve it. How can I be sure that I am right and the other person is wrong? These kinds of conversations seem to go wrong more often than not, with everyone becoming angry and defensive.
Jesus instructs us to keep the matter private at first, confront the wrongdoer in love, and pray that the person will repent. If repentance is not forthcoming, we are to ask two or three others to be involved, keeping the conversation fair, accurate, and confidential. The final resort is to make it known to the church, but always with restoration, not punishment, as the goal.
DO:
I learned from the chapter called “Clean Fighting” in the Emotionally Healthy Relationship Course that many people find conflict difficult because we think we should always be peacemakers and avoid causing trouble. Instead, we need to learn and practise how to raise issues wisely.
I need to be less self-defensive and emotional, and more skilful in identifying and expressing the real problem, and to trust confidently that Jesus is with me. This is a far better solution than simply bearing things and ignoring sin.
PRAY:
Dear Father, it is my sincere desire to be a better, more mature, and wiser disciple as I age. Dealing with sin and conflict has always been difficult for me, and I have spent many years avoiding conflicts and simply putting up with things. Please help me to be braver and wiser, and to trust You when You instruct me to speak up about things that are not right.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
