For the last five years, whenever Jenny* (not her real name) in China thought about her mother, Madam Han Hongli in Singapore, she would recall the many times Hongli made her breakfast every morning before she went off to school and when she took her shopping for new clothes.
Jenny was just in her early teens when Hongli left her younger brother and her for Singapore to work as a migrant worker in the food and beverage industry. “Money to feed the children and to support them through school were my top priorities in life then,” recalled Hongli. “Nothing else mattered. How could we survive without money?”
As for Hongli, the memories of the times she cooked for her children back in China, and their happy faces when she brought them home from school never failed to cheer her up.
Hongli and Jenny had long accepted and embraced their long-distance family arrangement as best they could, staying in touch regularly on the phone, with Jenny keenly aware her responsibility was to work hard and help look after her brother while Hongli toiled abroad.
A life devastated by slashing attack
Everything changed on April 14, 2022, when Hongli’s estranged husband slashed Hongli several times in broad daylight outside the Chongqing (Origin) steamboat restaurant at Beach Road, where she worked. The slashing attack turned the family’s lives topsy turvy, and everything just “became a blur,” recalled Jenny. The savage attack took a terrible toll on Hongli, including losing sight in one eye, having one arm nearly severed, and bearing multiple scars across her face and limbs.
Jenny only found out about the terrible attack on Hongli three days after it happened, with her aunt and uncle merely revealing she had been beaten up, recalled the soft-spoken Jenny, who will soon officially graduate from university
“My family members in China did not me much, but the attack on my mother made headlines in Singapore and China.I was terribly shocked and extremely worried for mama; I did not know if she would survive.”
Jenny then began a frantic search online for news on Hongli. Some of the news included eyewitnesses’ gruesome accounts and doubts that she would survive, with comments on the reasons for the attack often wildly speculative, baseless, downright disparaging, and cruel. With Hongi’s news splashed online all over Singapore and China, Jenny spiraled into a world of deep anger, agony and anxiety. “I was filled with so much hatred for that man; I wanted to see my mother, and I was so fearful of losing her. I could not do anything for her, and I kept thinking and thinking about revenge.”
Fighting to stay alive
For Hongli, as the pressure of the odds to survive ratcheted up and after that, as the traumatic reality the impact of her injuries road to recovery sank in, started having suicidal thoughts driven by hopelessness, sorrow, anger, over a vivid layer of physical and emotional pain.
Through it all, she held on to the need to survive for her two children: “The thought of my children kept me alive; they spurred me to live on and try to overcome all the adversities and my despair so that I could see them again.”
Anxiety, fear and pain surrounded mother and daughter as they tried their best to make sense of what had happened as they journeyed through that dark, difficult period.
However, in a strange way, after the attacks, Hongi felt somewhat liberated. “The man had always threatened to harm my family in China, but he didn’t get to them; he got to me instead. So, in a real way I was relieved my family was not harmed, because the one harmed was me.”
“Slowly, as I recovered, I was also healed in my heart of my bitterness and hatred. This was because I started to surrender my life, bit by bit, to God”, shared Hongli.
In contrast, Jenny struggled with intense worry and hatred. “I wished he had harmed me instead. I would rather take the blows for my mother and suffer for her; her road was so painful.”
Again, rays of hope began to pour through, courtesy of Hongli’s community. “At the same time, I was also really comforted that mama was supported by many kind people in Singapore, the Salvation Army and the Chinese migrant workers’ community in Singapore. They encouraged and supported her with her emotional and physical healing.”
God’s love through a selfless, authentic and caring community
After five long years, in October Jenny and Hongli finally reunited in Singapore with the generous support of the Salvation Army and their social workers. Fiona Soh, the Corporate Communications Director of The Salvation Army, said they wanted to fly Jenny over for the reunion as mother and daughter had not seen each other for too long, and Jenny was also old enough to travel on her own to Singapore: “It was important for Hongli to connect with her daughter and help her realise how love and forgiveness are still possible in spite of anger and violence. This support through a crisis and beyond really enables God’s glory to shine as well.”
Jenny had tried to imagine many times what it would be like when she eventually saw her mother in person; she had thought she would break down. “But I didn’t, I was just so happy and relieved to be able to see mama again,” she said, a sense of relief and gratefulness just overcoming her. “Were you surprised by my looks when you saw me in person finally, or am I indeed the most beautiful mother?” teased Hongli during the interview.
“You are definitely still the most beautiful mother to me,” quipped Jenny.
A step of faith
Although Jenny had been exposed to the faith by her Christian grandmother in China, she was never really serious about being a Christ follower. After she came to Singapore to visit Hongli, Jenny was instantly struck by her faith, which made a difference in her: “My mother has changed. She used to be very concerned about money, and she had very worldly values. When I stayed with her in Singapore, I realised she had become kinder, and more compassionate. She also no longer harboured bitterness; she suffered an extreme tragedy, yet managed to overcome it because as she told me repeatedly, she saw hope in Christ, and she saw the goodness in humanity through her Christian community in Singapore.”
Over the 20 days she was in Singapore, Jenny was introduced to her mother’s community as she joined them in outings and meals daily. She experienced how Hongli’s community in the Salvation Army surrounded her mother and her with genuine love and affection.
Jenny was very moved by many of Hongli’s Christian friends who did not just care for the both of them, but cared sacrificially for other migrant workers too. “I am surprised that there are so many selfless people who are willing to go all out to help others even though they do not have much themselves,” shared Jenny. “I saw the love of God through all their genuine kindness and compassion. It made me want to be like them, cast my cares upon God, and walk the road ahead as a Christian.” Agreeing with Jenny, Hongli said: “As for me, I too saw how much sacrifices the Christian community in Salvation Army made for the other people.” She shared how coming close to God has lifted her from deep darkness in life and helped her focus more on surrendering all matters to God instead of dwelling on issues and anxieties. “After all the tragedy, hatred and unforgiveness I experienced in my life, I have experienced the love of Jesus, and it has made me realise that only in God can we have true hope. I have also reminded Jenny to turn over her worries in life to the Lord as well.”
From tragedy to triumph
Jenny decided to take the step to affirm her faith in God through baptism while she was in Singapore. Although Hongli did not ask her daughter to be baptised, Jenny wanted to be before returning to China. This was not one of the things that Hongli expected to happen before her daughter came to Singapore, but the timing was perfect and filled her with joy. “It was God’s arrangement,” said Hongli. “I am so comforted that my daughter took the step to hand over her life to Christ.”
After all that she has experienced, Hongli no longer harbours thoughts about riches or success in life. She has renewed her priorities and values: “I have had a tragedy; I nearly lost my life. But I am so thankful I can still be here today, and I have learned to forgive, let go of many things and surrender to the Lord Jesus.” When asked what she would look forward to now, Hongli said all she wants is to move on and be able to see her two precious children grow up happily and healthily: “I want to enjoy a simple life with them, like cooking for them when my daughter is home after work and when my son comes home during the school holidays. I just want to commit my future to the Lord Jesus Christ, knowing that only He alone can direct and make my path straight; no one else can.”
Faced with only two options after the tragedy – give up or live on – never once did it cross Hongli’s mind that something so unendurable and ugly could end up being something still beautiful. However, as the days passed, Hongli realised that God could was really able to turn all things into good: “I have forgiveness in my heart now and I cling on to this verse in Hebrews 12:1-3 – ‘Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith’”. As she shared this, Hongli’s face lit up as she shared how her testimony in a local church recently led a pre-believer to receive Christ, her joy clearly evident.
“I want everyone to know that our Lord Jesus Christ can turn any situation around. He can turn the most awful and devastating situations into something filled with true hope. Just look at what happened to me,” she affirmed.
For Hongli and Jenny, God truly transformed bad into good, and their mess into His masterpiece.
*Name has been changed to protect the identity.
Read Chinese version of this article here. Translated by Amanda Low from the Wesley Mandarin Ministry.
Wesley TIDINGS would like to express our appreciation to The Salvation Army for the opportunity to interview Madam Han Hongli and her daughter.
Read also: Surviving the Darkest Storm
About The Salvation Army
The Salvation Army is an international organization with the mission to meet human needs and provide comfort and support to those in need, regardless of age, race or religion. Operating as a charity in Singapore for more than 88 years, The Salvation Army has helped a wide group of individuals and families in the society each year ranging from vulnerable children and youth, frail elderly, isolated migrant workers, ex-offenders, and struggling families and individuals. Through their social programmes like Gracehaven, Peacehaven and others, The Salvation Army aims to uplift and empower those who are struggling. With community-focused programmes, The Salvation Army provides compassion and care for the marginalised without discrimination. The organisation’s outreach is motivated by God’s love, compassion, and desire to help the vulnerable. To contribute to or find out more about The Salvation Army, please go to: the Salvation Army
