The Faith Journey of Harold Koh
This was first published in TIDINGS, October 2021 issue
Providing well for his family used to be the paramount priority in Harold’s life.
“That was my top priority,” said 62-year-old Harold who used to lead a comfortable expatriate life as a Singapore Airlines station manager in no less than six cities spanning three continents, including San Francisco, Seoul and Paris.
But the world came crashing down on him in 2003 when he was diagnosed with Syringomyelia, a condition whereby the cysts on the spinal cord or brain stem damage the nerve fibers that transmit information from the brain to other parts of the body and vice versa.
By 2004, Harold had started to lose his use and co-ordination of the right side of his body, especially in his right hand.
He had to make the painful inevitable decision to leave SIA, a company that he was with for over 19 years. He had been medically boarded out by the company as the doctors had recommended that Harold should remain in Singapore for at least a year.
“I spent several months wallowing in self pity and asked God why me. I was also very worried for my family.”
Harold’s family weighs heavily in his heart all the more because they have a son, Benjamin, who has autism.
The Early Days
A true blue Wesley and ACSian boy, Harold has been attending Wesley since his kindergarten days. His parents and both his younger sisters were also from Wesley. As a child, Harold enjoyed playing football, squash and tennis.
“I accepted Christ at an evangelistic meeting when I was in secondary two.”
“Life was pretty normal and good for me. I got through school and national service smoothly. Later on in my career, I got to live in other countries while working for SIA. Life was an exciting adventure for me.”
In 1985, Harold married the love of his life, Yvonne, and Benjamin came along a year after that.
Although there were many challenges raising Benjamin, but God was good and little Benjamin had opportunities to spend a number of years in other cultures that are more progressive in embracing and teaching children with special needs then.
The Diagnosis that Changed Everything
Just prior to his diagnosis, Harold was in charge of the SIA operations in Frankfurt, Germany.
“I took over the operations on September 11, 2001, the day of 911. The entire aviation industry went into hyper security mode after that. As Frankfurt was the stopover station for the SIA flights to New York, I had to manage the heightened airline and airport safety measures. Unbeknown to me then, I already had a medical condition.”
In 2002, Harold requested to be posted back to Singapore. He was looking forward to a more stable lifestyle with his family.
But in 2003, a chance medical check up with a cardiologist had led to other checks and the discovery of his medical condition.
Harold’s first surgery in 2003 to decompress the cyst on his brain stem was followed by a second decompression surgery in 2005. His condition started deteriorating as he struggles with his balance, grip and movement.
Syringomyelia is a rare condition that in Singapore. Till today, there is still hardly any local support group on syringomyelia.
Life after the Surgeries
While Harold could analyze his situation and even wrestle with God intellectually, there was a visceral fear in him about the future. The thought of his family being not provided for was too much to bear.
After his diagnosis, Harold finds himself questioning God a lot.
“I told God I thought we had a deal. You gave me a special needs child but you will help me provide for him. How can you go back on your word? I was angry and confused at the same time.”
But going forward, God would reveal to Harold that although his life was a mess but God was still working in it.
At the same time, Harold’s study of Job deepened his understanding of God in his life circumstances.
The First Miracle
The first miracle came in 2005 when Harold answered an advertisement by Great Eastern Life (GE), thinking it was a recruitment for backend support staff. It turned out to be a recruitment exercise for insurance agents and Harold was persuaded by the recruiters to try out the job training, albeit grudgingly.
“Through the training, I discovered God’s generous provision for me. Back in 1997, I had bought several insurance policies to support my friend who was an insurance agent. One of the policies was an endowment with a rider that I did not bother to understand. Part of my insurance training was to scrutinise our own policies. That was when I discovered that the rider of a particular policy I had , looked like it was customised for my situation! It gave me a pay out if I were not able to work on only medical grounds,” recalled Harold, still marvelled at God’s provision. “The insurer would also backdate the claims to early 2004 when I had been boarded out of SIA.”
Subsequently, another insurer, NTUC, also approved Harold’s claim.
The payout from the two insurers alleviated much of Harold’s anxiety about his medical and family’s expenses. It even enabled his wife, Yvonne, to fulfil her dream of studying in Trinity Theological College (TTC). This was a miracle by the Kohs’ reflection.
“Throughout our 35 years of marriage, both Yvonne and I had learnt to support each other through good and bad times. Both my and Benjamin’s conditions have affected Yvonne greatly yet she continued unwavering with her faith.”
From Helpless to Hopeful
The provision, promise and presence of a gracious Father who hears our cries ignited a renewed faith in Harold.
To date, Harold has served as a Disciple class facilitator for over a decade at Wesley. Countless Wesleyans have benefitted from Harold’s facilitation in D1 and D4 classes.
At the same time, God has not forgotten to take care of Benjamin who is now 34 years old.
Apart from attending a special needs school, Benjamin has made full use of his God-given gift of painting to draw many art pieces. The Kohs’ home is adorned with Benjamin’s beautiful paintings of animals and sceneries at all corners.
Said Harold the proud father, “My greatest joy is seeing how far Benjamin has come, especially in his love for art. Ben’s talent in art is obviously not from his dad who failed art, a subject that is quite hard to fail in school.”
As Harold soldiers on in life, trying, he reflected:
“Three things I have learnt so far:
- God is merciful, gracious, sovereign and He is our Jehovah Jireh.
- He is in control, regardless of my circumstances.
- I have to look at things from His perspective, with eternity in mind.” – Harold Koh
In Harold, God has delineated He is bigger than all of the most difficult circumstances in life.
“Finishing this race well is now my top priority in life.”
Read also: God’s Mercy Amid A Mental Health Struggle Journey, <strong>Keep Calm and Carry on Serving Others</strong
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