If you’ve been married for any period, you would probably know that marriage takes work, and in many cases, hard work. A good marriage requires making an intentional daily commitment to your spouse.
Marriage retreats are a good way to help couples manage conflicts and refresh, inspire and deepen their relationships. With this desire and objective in mind, 20 couples made their way to the Radisson Golf and Convention Centre in Batam for the two-day marriage retreat organised by Wesley Family Life Ministry on 11 and 12 November 2023.
The marriage retreat is based on the Art of Marriage by CRU FamilyLife, designed to help couples rediscover each other and God’s purpose for their marriage. Incorporating biblical truths and applications was the essence of the course, which is fundamental and central to Christian marriage. The sessions weaved together teaching, stories, interviews and humorous vignettes that portray both the challenges and the beauty of God’s design for marriage, and covered topics ranging from the primary purpose of marriage as a reflection of God’s glory, to learning to walk by the power of the Holy Spirit in marriage, the different roles of men and women in marriage, healthy conflict resolution and our hope for leaving a lasting legacy through the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Organised by Marcus Lim and Adriel Rao, volunteers from the Family Life Ministry, the retreat is a great way to help couples strengthen their marriages: “We have been blessed by going for different marriage retreats throughout our marriage, and we want to help Wesleyans to build up their marriages through such retreats. One of the incredible things about marriage retreats is that they remain relevant regardless of how long you’ve been married.”
Married to Michele for six years, Rev Ian Lee, the pastor overseeing Family Life Ministry, shared it was his first time attending a marriage enrichment retreat: “I was blown away by the organising committee’s heart for the couples; the amount of work that they put into the retreat was tremendous. What I found most encouraging was seeing couples of all ages coming for this retreat. We have couples who have only been married for five years and some for 36 years.”
At the retreat, there was also time for individual and couple reflection and prayer, to allow participants to gain a deeper understanding of the purpose of marriage and of themselves and their spouse. They were also invited to write a love letter to their spouse, including the qualities that attracted them to their spouse when they first met and how God used their differences to help them complete one another and grow. There was also space to work out any conflicts and to seek forgiveness from each other.
Kathleen Jong, who has been married to Jason Jong for 30 years with two children and a grandson, came to the retreat with her husband with no expectations but was opened to God’s promptings and all that He had in store for them: “Attending a marriage retreat was the furthest thing from my mind. However, my husband felt it would be a blessing for us to come to this retreat so here we are.”
“Although it was only a two-day programme, it was comprehensive in catering to marriages across the board. It provided appropriate tools for young marriages and highlighted reminders and refreshers for mature marriages,” added Kathleen.
Another couple at the retreat, Lynn Han and Lee Wei Hao, who have been married for seven years, shared that the busyness of life, including tending to two young babies while working full-time, meant that it was challenging to invest more time for themselves and nurturing their marriage. Said Lynn: “My husband came across the publicity for the retreat during the Prayer and Praise service. We signed up for the retreat immediately and have been so blessed by the retreat.”
“The greatest takeaway was how marriage on earth should reflect God’s love and purpose. I was thankful that Pastor Ian reminded us to set aside time for intentional rituals to anchor our marriage. It is my joy and blessing to recommend more couples to consider the marriage retreat, a highly memorable spiritual weekend getaway to enrich their relationship.”
In his sharing, Pastor Ian reminded the couples that God is a God of rituals. Therefore, it is important for all couples to set aside time for intentional couple rituals to stay connected with each other to strengthen their marriages.
The retreat closed with the couples reading a liturgy, composed by Douglas Kaine McKelvey for husband and wife, followed by marriage reaffirmation where spouses reaffirmed their marriage covenants to each other.
“The retreat has reminded us that marriage is something a husband and wife needs to be constantly investing in, regardless of their time together or stage of life. I felt that by being at the retreat, each person was saying to their spouse, ‘our covenant with each other still matters’,” said Pastor Ian.
Interview with Marcus Lim, Volunteer of Family Life Ministry who helped organise The Art of Marriage Retreat from 11–12 November 2023
Why did you decide to join the Marriage Enrichment team at Wesley and help organise the Marriage Retreat?
A healthy marriage takes constant investment. There are many things that can distract from that after the wedding—kids and work being the typical culprits. Marriage enrichment is not something that only couples in trouble go for. It is like going to the gym to keep yourself fit. Through the years, we have been blessed by different marriage courses and retreats, one of which took place when we were going through a rough patch. In a way, we wanted to pay it forward and help other couples strengthen their marriages to weather the storms that are sure to come. A marriage retreat is an opportunity for you to set aside intentional time with your spouse to reconnect with each other, reflect on the journey you’ve been on so far and look forward to what God has in store for you as a couple.
Please share your thoughts on this year’s retreat.
The retreat is ultimately about you and your spouse. While you could benefit from the experiences of others, your journey is unique and deliberate conversations between you and your spouse can unlock wonders. Unfortunately, most conversations couples end up having are around household logistics, hence the need for courses and retreats to provide the context and setting for deeper conversations. The feedback from this year’s participants has been very encouraging, with couples sharing how they now see their marriages from a fresh perspective. Most of the team that put together this year’s retreat were participants from last year’s retreat. That’s as good an endorsement as you can get!
Any tips on how you set aside time for each other on a regular basis?
It is really about scheduling it. Yes, we all lead busy lives, but somehow, we manage to schedule everything else except time with our spouse. For us, we’ve been blessed with great family support that has allowed us to set aside Friday nights to hang out with each other. This could be going out for a meal or staying home to catch something on Netflix. We also make it a point to go to bed together each day, which allows us some time to chat at the end of the day. It is too easy to lead parallel lives under the same roof if there isn’t a routine to reconnect.
About The Art of Marriage and Family Life Ministry
Did you miss out on this year’s marriage retreat organised by the Family Life Ministry? A marriage retreat is an opportunity for married couples to set aside intentional time to reconnect with each other on a deeper level, reflect on the journey they have been on so far and look forward to what God has in store for them as a couple. Check out our website at Wesley Family Life Ministry to learn more about our resources, workshops, events and activities.
Read also: Challenges of Christian Parenting: Parenting Conversations at Wesley Methodist Church
