Till Death Us Do Part
LENT 2023 | DAY 9
Matthew 5:31-32 (NIV)
(Alvin Tay, Chairperson, Local Church Executive Committee)
READ:
Matthew 5:31-32 (NIV)
DAILY REFLECTION:
Few, if any, would on their wedding day be talking or worrying about divorce. On this joyous day, the wedding couples are more likely to dream of living together happily ever after, just like people in the many fairy tales I grew up with.
But do marriages always have that fairy tale ending? Yes, there are happy couples and marriages. But lasting marriages do require hard work (aka heart work) by both parties, as is the case in my own marriage.
When I was married to Wendy at Wesley Methodist Church in 1988, we were required to memorise our marriage vow; there was no written script for us to rely on. Looking back, that was the most stressful part of the wedding ceremony, but we were glad we did it. Till today, we can still remember portions of that vow.
I, Alvin, take thee, Wendy, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance, and thereto I pledge thee my faith.
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh (Genesis 2:24).
One flesh? Till death us do part? Frankly, this is easier said than done. Marriage is hard work. The problem is: Wendy and I were quite different from one another when we got married. We came from different family backgrounds and had different upbringings and experiences. We grew up with vastly different family values, and we brought these values into our marriage. It was a recipe for disaster.
We tried to change one another, and hence quarrelled a lot. That was when the issue of divorce began to surface. In 2012, when we started attending the DISCIPLE Bible Study and then Companions in Christ courses together as a couple, we began to discard our worldly values for God’s values. As we moved closer to God, we also moved closer to one another.
Come June, we will be celebrating our 35th wedding anniversary. Finally, after 10 years of Intentional Discipleship, we are now more like one flesh. My ministry co-workers would sometimes joke that when they got me to join a project, they would get Wendy as well, and vice-versa. We come as a package. Yes, Wendy and I now tend to do life, and ministry together. All glory to God!
FAMILY DISCUSSION POINTERS:
1. What is God’s purpose for marriage? What can we learn from Jesus, as the groom to his Bride, the Church?
2. What do children wish for in their parents’ marriage?
3. What makes a marriage last “till death do us part”?
