READ | SERMON NOTES
Summary l Right after Paul talks about sexual immorality in 1 Corinthians 6, he moves on to address another issue faced by the church in Corinth, namely marriage and singlehood. There appeared to be two extreme views on sexuality: one being that sex was simply a bodily appetite that needed to be met while the other was a denial of sexual needs. In this chapter, Paul mediates between these extremes as he discusses marriage and singleness in vs 1-6 and vs 25-40. Sandwiched between these two sections is what may be considered the main lesson, namely, remain as you are.
Four discipleship lessons:
1.Honour each other in marriage faithfully
Vs 4 would have been a game changer for the Greeks as it highlighted that men did not have a final say where sex was concerned. Both husband and wife are to submit to one another. Sex was not to be seen as a reward for good behaviour nor a punishment by withholding it. The key point is mutuality. Both parties in a marriage are equal partners, serving God and each other with respect, and honour. Vs 39 teaches that husband and wife are bound to each other in a covenant before the Lord. This mutuality includes sexual relations (vs 3-5); staying committed – whether spouse is a believer or not (vs. 10-16); serving or pleasing each other (vs 32-34). “In sharp contrast with our culture, the Bible teaches that the essence of marriage is a sacrificial commitment to the good of the other…” (Timothy Keller in ‘The Meaning of Marriage’). It is easier to live together than to live for each other. How is your marriage today? Is there effective communication? Are there roots of bitterness or a lack of satisfaction? Take the next step in your marriage:
a)Don’t just maintain status quo but grow by watering your marriage. Our Family Life Ministry has created a Marriage Charter which includes Biblical principles in the covenantal journey of marriage. Do a health check on your marriage. Look up resources and tools that have been put together for this purpose. More details can be found at https://wesley.sg/flm-resource
b)Journey with each other in safe communities. Seek a couple mentor. This is particularly useful for those who are newly wedded. Mature couples should step up to be a mentor, even if you feel that your marriage is not a perfect one. Small Group fellowship and discipleship bands also help couples persevere in their marriage journey.
c)Deal with troubling issues forthright. Do not wait until it’s too late. If needed, seek marriage counselling early.
2.Treat divorce and remarriage seriously
Vs 10-11 may appear to be a clear mandate not to be divorced. In vs 15, Paul refers to desertion as grounds for the marriage breaking up. In Matthew 19, our Lord states that adultery is a reason for divorce. There are four schools of thought on divorce and remarriage:
i)Both are not permitted at all.
ii)Divorce is permitted in cases of adultery and desertion, but remarriage is not permitted.
iii)Both are permitted in cases of adultery and desertion.
iv)Both are permitted on other reasons.
Does this mean that apart from desertion and adultery, there are no other grounds for divorce? In Matthew 19, Jesus was interpreting Deuteronomy 24:1-4 rather than giving a comprehensive treatment of divorce. In Exodus 21:10-11, we see that neglect (deprivation) is grounds for the woman to go free. Thus, the Old and New Testaments indicate that Adultery, Abandonment (desertion), and Abuse (neglect) are grounds for divorce. However, even under such circumstances, divorce is permitted but not commanded. God’s design for marriage is sacred. God hates the brokenness in divorce (Malachi 2:16) which affects not just the couple but generations thereafter. We should press for forgiveness and reconciliation though this is hard and painful. God understands the pain and betrayal in divorce (Ezekiel 16) as He experienced His people abandoning Him. As a church, let us adopt a pastoral and restorative stand rather than tacademic questions or take a judgmental posture to those facing marital difficulties.
Is re-marriage permitted? If divorce happens because of adultery, abandonment and abuse, the marriage covenant is effectively broken and remarriage is permitted. However, the decision to re-marry should be taken only after much prayer, with godly counsel, when past hurts are healed and lessons from the previous marriage have been grasped.
3.Engage singleness purposefully
Chinese New Year season is a period dreaded by singles, to the extent that one may rent a fake partner who will fend off all the questions fielded by relatives. Singles tend to be marginalised. But Paul says singlehood is a spiritual gift (charisma) (vs 7). With this gift, the person is devoted to God’s calling (vs 32,34) without the concerns of marriage (vs 33,34). Let us invite the singles to bless and enrich us, the body of Christ. Some singles may have experienced painful circumstances leading to singlehood. Many assume that Paul had never been married. However, as a Jewish rabbi, it is highly likely that he was married. We do not know if his wife died or left him when he was converted. Whatever the case, Paul acknowledges that his state of singlehood was a gift of God. Like Paul, singles should rediscover a new identity in singlehood and choose to live life surrendered to God.
4.Be devoted to God single-mindedly
“Remain as you are” is the key message Paul is teaching. He is not advocating passivity but priority in being single-mindedly devoted to God. Don’t be distracted by pursuing and changing your status. We are not made complete by marriage. Only God can make us complete. Time is short (vs 29). Grasp the urgency of Christ’s return. Let us be the Maranatha Generation, longing for His return and faithfully living a life devoted to Him.
Maranatha, Come Lord Jesus (1 Cor. 16:22).
(Sermon notes by Angela Goh)
PONDER | REFLECTION QUESTIONS
- Read 1 Corinthians 7:1-5. In Paul’s time, what is so radical about his views about the husband not having authority over his body but yielding it to his wife? What does it mean when spouses yield to each other in the area of sexual intimacy in marriage?
- What is the key principle about marriage that Paul was pressing for? How is mutuality in marriage expressed in Chapter 7?
- What is one key takeaway for you from Chapter 7 where marriage is concerned?
- Read 1 Corinthians 7:10-11. What strikes you about Paul’s stand on divorce?
- Of the four main schools of thought where divorce and remarriage are concerned, which do you believe?
- According to the sermon, on what grounds would divorce be permitted if one looks at the whole of Scripture?
- While divorce may be permitted, it is not encouraged or commanded. Why? What are the consequences of divorce?
- What are your thoughts about remarriage? In your view, when would remarriage be permissible?
- How does the idea that singleness is a spiritual gift encourage you? How does singleness help one stay focused and devoted?
- “Remain as you are.” What is this principle urging us to do?
- Why is it important for us to grasp the reality that time is short (v 29)?
- Pray for someone you may know or persons in general hurting from the pain of divorce, or the challenges of marriage. Pray for persons who may be wrestling with singleness. Pray for all to have a single-minded devotion to God.
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