READ | SERMON NOTES
Summary l Shame is a feeling that many of us would be familiar with and experienced in our lives. It can paralyse us, destroying our relationships with God and others.
There are three main sources of shame:
- Sin (v7) – This realisation of our sins and mistakes brings about an uncomfortable sense of shame within us
- Schemes of others (v2) – Others may deliberately do or say things to bring us shame
- Stories & scripts – This are stories that we tell ourselves as part of the culture that we live in about who we should be or how we should behave
The distinction between guilt, shame and fear
A. Guilt
• Revolves around a culture of fairness, law and punishment
• Focuses on the conscience of the individual, and maintenance and restoration of the moral order
B. Shame
• Revolves around a culture of pride and honour
• Focuses on self-denial and humility to maintain or restore social order
C. Fear
• Revolves around a culture of power; control is maintained based on a fear of retribution
• Focuses on physical dominance
Shame is unique to human beings because we are storytellers. These stories may or may not be accurate, but the mental scripts reinforced by our cultures creates a loop of shame.
• These stories are self-perpetuating and remain in our minds indefinitely. Certain situations or memories resurfaces them and reinforces that loop of shame.
• Shame is unforgiving, exaggerating effects and overwhelming us until the truth of the gospel is barely heard in our souls.
The Personal Impact of Shame
- Hinders our spiritual growth
• Shame wounds our self-image, causing us to behave as wounded children of God, often leading to unhealthy actions
• The loop of shame competes with God’s truth to beat us down, keeping us from walking in our identity as God’s beloved
• Shame is an emotional weapon of the enemy and corrupts our relationship with God. It also hinders us from using our God-given gifts fully to reflect God’s light - Anxiety of being shameful
• Shame can be so overwhelming that it makes us anxious, fearing our skeletons in the closet will be exposed
• It causes us to create a barrier of secrecy and isolation; we may even lie to hide our shame
The Relational Impact of Shame
- Judgmental thought or behaviour
• A person filled with shame has a tendency towards condemnation
• Shame repressed within us will leak out as judgmental thoughts or behaviour towards others; we unconsciously condescend when others fail to meet expectations - Strains and divides
• Shame strains friendships and divides people by influencing us to disconnect from others
• We may view ourselves as too ‘problematic’ or burdensome and withdraw
Three Convictions to Heal Us of Shame
- Show me Your ways, Lord (v4)
a. A humility to repent
• God has already taken our shame on the cross.
b. A humility to learn
• There can be no intimacy with God without obedience. Knowing God cannot be merely theoretical; it must be tested and proven through practical obedience to the living God. - God, I trust in You (v1)
• Words of hope – Do you have the assuring sense of God’s forgiveness in your life? - The Lord confides in those who fear Him (v14)
• Abraham was called a friend of God (James 2:23). God confided in Abraham about His plans to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 18:16-33).
• The Lord would also speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend (Exodus 3:11). He confided in Moses about His disappointment in the Israelites. Their friendship was so rich that Moses could even plead with God to be patient and to forgive them.
• Conversely, in the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve hid from God after they sinned because they felt ashamed (Genesis 3:8).
The shame we hold, and the healing journey differs from person to person.
Let us refuse shame’s control over us and choose to rely on God to break the loop of shame.
Personal Reflection
Is there a shameful secret that I am hiding?
Is there a loop of shame that keeps repeating within me?
Have I received the assuring sense of God’s forgiveness over my life?
Can our small groups be safe places for us to be vulnerable to one another?
(Sermon notes by Stella Chiam)
PONDER | REFLECTION QUESTIONS
- Read Psalm 25. What aspects of David’s prayer do you most relate with?
- Reflect: How does shame affect us? What are the looping stories or scripts of shame that you have experienced?
- Respond: Which of the 3 convictions mentioned in the sermon would you have most difficultly meditating on? What challenges, fears or concerns do you face with this conviction?
- Rest: Share which of the 3 convictions would you commit to cultivate by meditating daily, and your plans for how you intend to meditate on it. Share why you hope to meditate on it.
